


Demented Inamorato

by Demoneyedwanderer666



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies)
Genre: Corporal Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Dominant Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Eren Loves Levi, Ereri Fluff Day, Ereri Week, Gen, Levi Loves Eren, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, M/M, Multi, Other, POV Eren Yeager, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-19 00:45:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9410174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demoneyedwanderer666/pseuds/Demoneyedwanderer666
Summary: The sky looms above them and whispers sweet nothings in their ears, the more they listen the more they end up letting their colors and emotions bleed out.They find each other in the vivid shades of blue and green. And their love remains.Eren exists among the wreckage of this world and his mind, but strangely Levi is present in both of them. His wish for a better world still remains, but maybe the better world that he had so longed for had never existed outside the walls, and the only salvation he could find was within his grasp all along?





	1. Chapter 1

**His eyes remained still and electric as his feet landed on the wet ground, his cape flew behind him and it glorified his arched back even more as you breathe in his majestic divinity. He remained in mid air, frozen it seems, somehow he refused to feel the ground beneath him even when he stood stiffly. His eyes were plastered on the blood that accumulated on his worn out boots, the same blood remained on the blades he held in his grip, fortunately he himself has made it out in one piece. The man looks up towards the sky, his jaw relaxed and smooth by the strange warmth that invaded his lungs and throat, he breathed and sighed and made no sound as he did it, the silence that crept from his lips was undecipherable and yet somehow broken. His bewitching stature remained still for a few moments more until he suddenly shifts in his spot, his head begins to turn and now he's...looking. His mouth remains as a frown as his wounded head turns, the sadistic aura intensifies as the turning stops and his face is directed towards you. His black locks cover his eyes and half of his face as he tilts a little more, strange marks and cuts appear on his cheek and on his upper lip and soon his eyes begin to soften, his gaze becomes warm and salubrious as he continues to stare in your direction. You feel your chest tighten as you look at the figure, the strength in his arms and legs were slowly fading but even so he kept his feet firmly on the ground. A numbing feeling invades his throat and so he slightly gasps and lets the blood drip from his swollen lips, and soon his eyes begin to bleed too. The stinging forces him to wince and close his eyes in frustration, never has there been such horrific beauty in your eyes, but even so you continue to watch and wallow in the despair that this man has created. A neat trail of blood flows down on his pale cheeks and it hid the black bags under his eyes, years and years later those markings were finally gone.  
You reach out miserably, hoping that you could shelter him in your arms somehow and help him survive the pain, but the darkness in your heart begins to manifest.**

**Rot. Rot. Rot. Die. Die. Die.**

**Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye**

********************************

'Do you ever think about things that are out of your own control?' Eren spoke softly as he looked at the Corporal's back. Eren lay in his bed and completely delved into its comfort, he kept tracing his hands over each other as he waited for a response. Captain Levi was seated a little further from his bed on a comfortable wooden chair where he continued to look at some files that Hanji had left him. The folder he looked at contained pictures and symbols of some of the recent experimentations that have occurred over a small period of time. Eren was aware that the corporal wasn't able to read and write but his willingness to understand the bizarre scenarios regarding the titans had always driven him, and therefore Hanji created these versions just so he could catch up somehow. 

Levi turned in his seat and placed his arm over the back rest as he replied cautiously 'Such as?'. Eren turned his face towards him and blinked several times before he came up with an answer 'You know, things like... God and how the universe was born'. Levi pursed his lips a little before he returned to his work once more, Eren was a little confused and he thought that maybe he was bothering his superior too much. He sighed silently as he buried his nose in the warm pillow. 'I've never really bothered with these topics as much. There were other matters that I needed to think about before I could contemplate about different things' he replied calmly as he went through his pages and neatly piled them up. Eren looked towards him as the corporal dragged his chair outwards and stood up; his legs moved freely in his loose black pants and it was nice to see him out of the uniform for once. He turned and looked at Eren as he placed his hand on his waist and ran his other hand through his hair. His black shirt also hung loosely on him and looking at his comfortable state made Eren feel warm and drowsy. 'I always wonder about those things, from time to time. Armin and I were always going nuts about things beyond our reach, I once remember reading a sentence that told us how stars were created and all I could think was.. Just? How? You know?. It amazes me how much we don't even know, and I was wondering if you ever had such thoughts' Eren replied with a small smile on his face. Levi's lips also curled but it didn't really count as a smile; he took a few steps towards the window which was much nearer towards Eren's head hence he positioned himself so he could look at the captain perfectly. Levi stood with his arms crossed as he looked out of the window,his leg crossed over the other and he straightened his back, he looked taller and stoic as he stood 'Hmm. I guess I was always fascinated by the sky too, so I understand what you mean' Levi spoke in a soothing tone as he turned and met Eren's eyes 'Unfortunately I never really had the time to think about it or learn about it since I joined the scouting legion'. Eren sensed a hint of regret and sadness in his monotonic words and it had made him feel a little distant from his captain, but even so Eren gave a warm smile to the captain and responded 'I'll read a book or two about it, so I'll tell you then!' He beamed. Levi gave out a sigh as he moved away from the window and crouched in front of Eren. 'You don't have time for those things you just need to focus on getting better. That'll be beneficial for all of us' Levi claimed as he pulled on Eren's hair slightly. His fingers felt smooth as they grazed Eren's scalp and the sensation was more comforting rather than scolding. 'Well, as I'm healing I could read a book in bed or something. It gets really agonizing here when I have nothing to do, it won't strain me or anything' Eren complied as he met his captain's gaze. Levi's sensual grip loosened and he backed up until Eren could see him fully, Levi clicked his tongue at him but a small grin had appeared on his lips. Eren knew that he had caught his interest this way and somehow he became more driven to fulfill his promise. Levi began to leave the room as he walked quietly in his leather shoes. As soon as Eren saw him go out he calls out to him 'Goodbye Heichou!', Levi stood at the doorway for a few seconds before he replied softly 'Goodbye Eren' and clicked the door shut. The sudden silence began to inundate in the room and Eren felt like coughing his heart out. He hummed quietly and closed his eyes slowly as he started to think about the warmth he was surrounded by, the sheets were thin and plain to look at but it felt luxurious if you compared it to the scratchy blankets he used to sleep on before. His humming fades as he slowly drifts away.

_He had dreamt of a starry night sky in his sleep, and the corporal lay directly under it, but strangely instead of looking up he covered his eyes and wept._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I can still feel it... the blood in my eyes'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: If you haven't been following the SNK manga then do not proceed, this chapter contains a major spoiler regarding one of the fan favorites and I don't want to ruin anything for you all! Proceed at your own risk,  
> I hope you enjoy it :)

The walls of the castle echoed with worn memories and silent regret as the scouts returned. The conquest of Zhiganshina had proved to be a success after their recent occurrence with the colossal and armoured titan but even so they entered the castle grounds silently. Only some of the members were allowed to come back because of their injuries and unstable condition, the group consisted of Mikasa, Armin, Sasha, Connie, Eren and their supervisor Levi. Sasha had dehydrated and exhausted her body extensively while Mikasa, Connie and Armin remained unbalanced by the fatigue. The horses dragged a cart behind them and loud cracking and irritating sounds erupted from the wheels. The cart contained one more individual but it was unfortunate to say that he did not survive.

Levi had covered his captain's face with his jacket before he fully covered his body with a white sheet, somehow it unsettled him to let Erwin watch the sky above, a sickening feeling flowed through his stomach as he saw Erwin's dismantled and torn up corpse shake in the cart. A swollen mould began to appear in Levi's throat whenever he crossed paths with it and so he tried to keep his distance. The horses moved steadily as they followed the track back, gladly no titans had appeared over the last few hours and they were able to reach their destination with ease. Levi glanced at his injured soldiers as he lead them swiftly, everyone was drained and they were stressing over the recent events, but he couldn't do anything to console them.

He then looked at Eren, he remained stiff on his seat and his shirt was torn from the collar and his sleeves, he held the reins in a loose grip as his horse walked slowly, Eren catches Levi looking at him and instantly he looks away. Levi could see his heated frustration and somehow his emotions seeped into his own skin, he understood too well what he was going through and even now he refused to look him in the eye. Levi was angry, a profuse hatred existed in his heart and that was the only thing that drove him here in the first place. He remained committed.

The circumstances had been reckless and he had followed his intelligence and instinct, the serum belonged to Erwin, he should've been the one who survived. Levi grinds his teeth and grips on the reigns even tighter as he dashes towards the gate, farther from his soldiers.His grip had brought back the memory of how the injection felt in his filthy bloody hands, and it reminded him of Eren's fury as he stood before him in the dust filled air. Both of them felt numb as they stared at each other, the distance between them kept closing as they felt their rugged breathing on each other's skin, their blood began to boil the longer they stood next to each other. Was it a mistake?

In the end Armin lived, Erwin commanded it, he wanted it to be that way.

Levi looked at the clouds in the night sky and let out a groan, the sound of the wind bursted in his ears and his anger still remained.

The burial was steady and quiet, they uttered no word as they followed Levi's gestures and commands. Soon after the troops had retired to bed quite early even without the captain telling them to do so, several rooms became vacant and Levi allowed them to sleep separately tonight. Mikasa and Armin had remained calm and they had made dinner for the others, everyone sat at the table in silence as they ate and left instantaneously, Eren barely ate and he was the first to leave, Levi remained until he was the only one left in the dining hall.

An hour had passed since then, Levi took small steps towards the room upstairs where he knew Eren would be, the castle was murmuring and whispering as the wind entered through the narrow gaps in the bricked structure, a strange chill went down his spine as he gulped in and entered without hesitation. To his satisfaction Eren lied awake in his bed. He was cleaner now and the dim lighting made his eyes look even more darker than before; Eren looked at Levi, he was slightly confused but soon the remembrance of their last encounter started to unveil and Eren looked away with a frown on his face. 'You shouldn't be here. I don't want to see you right now' Eren spoke hoarsely 'Well what do you know, I'm still here either way' Levi mused sinisterly. Eren grew agitated and his irritation showed in his eyes, he blinked slowly as he kept himself contained, Levi didn't wish to anger him even more so he continued with his words 'I hope you understand what happened today, its going to get messier from here on out and I expect you to control your emotions more. It'll be necessary for you further on' Levi spoke in his strict and disciplined tone, Eren seemed dazed as he refused to make eye contact, Levi was getting angry again but he decided to let it go, it was better that he just finished and left 'I had no intention of saving your friend, my decision still stands and I don't want you patronising me for it. Next time we can't let these stupid emotions take over and instead of acting like a deranged maniac it would be better to think before going against your superior-'

Without hesitating Eren stood up from his bed abruptly, he was straining himself by keeping his eyes tightly shut; Levi took a step back and became wary of the position he was put into. Eren was angry, but the heat emitting from his skin had begun to cease after a few minutes, he unclenched his fists and allowed his free hand to go through his brown locks. Levi's shoulders felt lighter and relaxed as he placed his feet firmly, the clicking sound of his boots bounced off the walls in the process. 'I-. I didn't wish for his death either... But I- I guess I just...' He continued with his broken sentences 'I understand. You don't need to express yourself any further' Levi spoke calmly as he closed his eyes. Breathing in he looked at Eren; who's sitting on his bed comfortably now, his skin radiated a sense of solace which crept into Levi's pale and lifeless skin.

'I'm sorry for the mess today, and for every mess I'll create in general' Eren spoke softly as he bit his lip, Levi could tell that his emotions were slipping out little by little and sadly he ended up breaking him too, piece by piece. Levi walked towards Eren and sits in front of him with ease, before Eren could even look up Levi had pushed him down into the ruffled sheets, going deeper and deeper. He looked up at him and felt his held in tears leave his eye, embarrassed and dazed by the situation Eren's heart begins to race and his veins pop even more under his skin. Levi directs his gaze towards Eren's cheek and he clears away the wetness with his thumb. Levi's lips curl as he hums quietly and bends even further down, his chest is centimeters away from Eren's as he breathes vehemently near his face. Levi knew that his head was twisting and rotating by now but even so he continued.

Levi bit into Eren's neck, passionately at first but for a moment he felt that he cut in way too deep, Eren was shivering underneath him but in no way does he push him away. Levi kissed his neck and spoke in his ears sensually 'make me stop'. He repeated it over and over but instead of replying Eren buried his face into Levi's neck, gripping him even tighter with his cold hands. Levi smiled at his response and sank into the pleasure, his kisses trailed all over Eren's torso as he kept his pace, Levi had unbuttoned his white shirt and and buried himself in his skin, his scent, in him. Eren's satisfied noises exploded in Levi's ears as he kissed him profoundly, his tongue and greedy lips were overpowering his own as he moaned. Levi kissed his body tirelessly, tracing small marks and bruises as he went lower and lower. Levi pressed his lips onto Eren's stomach as he stopped briefly 'Make me stop' he hushed as he reached for Eren's hand, he wanted Eren to answer harshly so that he would have a reason to be mad at him again, but instead he complied.

_He complied, and complied, and complied._

Levi had no remorse with his body, he continued to bite and scar his skin with every breath he took and Eren willingly surrendered, enjoying every single contact. Levi was numb by Eren's insides, a blinding euphoria invaded him before he realised how deep he was. Eren quivered in his grasp and Levi soothed him with his lips as he cried out, his mouth hummed as Eren gasped and moaned with desire, his clammy palms tickled his back until he grasped onto Levi's hair and pulled him down, deepening their kiss. Moments pass as they intensify their touch and sensations as they were swaying and blending; Levi drains Eren and himself dry before his strength vanishes and he collapses on the bed. Eren faces him now, his face red and plum by the exhaustion, Levi also remains on his side as he struggles with his breathing, he watches him with his lidded eyes and he pulls him in. Eren's soft hair tangle around Levi's fingers as his lips trace each and every inch of his face, Eren is chuckling now under his small breaths and Levi had no intention to stop. Eren's eyelids began to sink over his sea glass eyes as he kisses Levi's jaw and then his lips, the swollen softness had permeated in Levi's tongue and his skin and for a moment the rush had gotten to his head. Their sleep deprived bodies were tangled up in each other and Eren murmured into his captain's hair 'Did you stop?'. Levi hummed back as he refused to open his eyes, a little shuffling in the bed once more and he hears his voice again 'Huh.. That's too bad I guess... I wish I wasn't too tire-' Eren dozes off with a small grin on his face. Levi positioned himself and shifted a little upwards to meet Eren's lips again before he pulled him into his arms.

_He had dreamt of Eren that night, he was gazing towards an endless blue void, very much like the sky. He reached his hand out and took a step forward before he fell down, further and further and further._

_He continued to fall, even when he covered his eyes and wept in pain._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be writing some extra fluff in the next chapter, I hope you liked it up to this point! and I plan on getting better! Thank you for your patience <3   
> :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can we be the stars? Or maybe even the light that they create? I wonder if souls could express themselves that way."  
> "If a soul could, how would it show itself?"  
> "Maybe with laughter, or words, or maybe even a kiss?"  
> "Haha, you think you're pretty clever huh Eren?"  
> "Clever, maybe not. But Unique; I am"  
> "Yeah, you are"

'Eren? Why are you taking so many of those?' Mikasa interrupted as I was stacking a few books on one another, startled by her question I answer cautiously, making sure I don't sound completely idiotic 'I just needed some time to cool off, that's all. It keeps me.. Determined, I guess'. Mikasa smiles at me, she looked so beautiful as the last bit on sunlight sank into her skin, her health had stabilized and she was eating much better than she was before 'Haha, you and Armin need to stop doing this to yourself, I know how much you want to learn about the world and all.. But Eren, I just want you to-'.

'I know' I interrupt her in my softest voice, my grip on the books become tighter and I give out a sigh before I answer again ' I know Mikasa, I'll make sure that it won't get over my head. I promise, okay?'. I started to walk off without even knowing and all I could hear from Mikasa was a brief sigh as she crossed her arms in distress; I completely understood what she meant, but I guess even she knows that its already too late for me to turn back now.

The expedition has been delayed for now, the incidents in Zhiganshina have still left its effects on the team, not only did we loose our commander but we lost so many soldiers to the beast titan. In other words... All of them, and only the nine of us minors survived. _Nine._

Was this really happening? I still couldn't believe that I was able to draw my breath right now, I had all of my limbs and legs and eyes, I was in perfect shape compared to the others. After learning about my father's past I still somehow refuse to believe that the world he spoke of was as terrible as this, as if there was no end to all of it. Was everything Armin and I read about completely false? Were we just caught in their twisted words and lies? The same words that spoke of endless landscapes and regions that went way beyond my very grasp?

I guess so. But even now I'm holding onto those books, the same books that have given me a somewhat incomplete explanation of this realm. And here I was, just a boy whose conscience had abandoned him. I enter my room quietly and find myself beaming at the sight, Levi sat on his wooden chair and faced the small window on the pale wall in front of him, he kept his legs crossed and his hands swayed a little on the arm rest, he heard me come in and turned around, he wore a tired expression and his metallic blue eyes looked a little dimmer than before, he smirked at me before he turned back and stayed in his previous position. I closed the door behind me and placed the books on the edge of the table, I gazed through the covers once more just out of fascination. _The depth and tenacity of the soul. Metaphysics and the world, The theory of evolution and the species beyond_ and several others which I couldn't really bother pronouncing, but the mere curiosity made me raid through Hanji's small stack that she happened to find in every collapsed home or town she was appointed in. I felt Levi's warm fingers slide into my left palm, he entwined our fingers and held my hand in a tight yet comforting grip. I completely zoned out for a few minutes and I was startled by his affection ' I'm so sorry, did you need anything?' I ask calmingly, his hand is still in my own and he just gives a little shrug 'No, nothing really'. I let go of his hand and stand in front of him, once my shadow fell on him I could perfectly see his gorgeous black locks covering his eyes, mystified by the sight I bend towards him and place a small kiss on his cheek, my lips felt warm on his check bone and I could feel his sigh on my collar bone. My hands rested on the edge of the arm rest and I pulled back, a few inches away from Levi's face. 'What was that for?' Levi questions with a brief smile, clearly he was satisfied by the attention I was giving him, or maybe his smile was sarcastic and he was clearly pissed about something and he wanted to lash out on me?.

I thought I wouldn't give an answer at first, but in the end I just smiled slightly and said 'Nothing, really'.

******************

'I don't think I like this part of the book...' Eren spoke as he read from a hard bound cover book in his long fingers, he's placing his head on my chest while I'm sitting upright with my back placed on the bed rest. The castle grounds was flooded with rain water and the storm still continued outside, the dark clouds created an ominous lighting in the cramped room and a small lantern was placed beside me for Eren's pleasure. His head applied an ample amount of pressure on my chest but I let him stay that way so that he could tell me about his book more. 'Why? What happened?' I ask as I bury my nose in his soft hair, he smelled like the rain, but only partially. I wrap my arms around him and clasp my hands under his chin as he continued reading ' It's talking about these sea creatures known as sharks, and well they have different types and there's this one shark.. Wait' he squinted his eyes even more so that he could pronounce the name properly 'Meg- a- lod-on? I think that's it'. I placed my chin on his head and made him lean in closer 'And what is it that you don't like about them?' I asked curiously. Eren's eye's kept popping as he read in his head 'They can grow up to 60 ft, and they eat meat...' He spoke up, a hint of terror in his voice. I was amused by how childish he looked as he read the scribbles and sketches with such awe 'So in other words they're the Titans of the sea?' I spoke humorously, I laughed at the mere coincidence of a monster that existed on both land and water. Eren closed the book abruptly and placed it on his chest as he hummed miserably, the mere thought of another man eating monster gnawed at his brain. The rain kept hitting the window quite hard as the shadows began to darken in the room, all of a sudden a sound of a thunderclap bounced off the walls in our room and I ended up gripping onto Eren's arms unconsciously, the light existed for only a millisecond before it disappeared again.

I hated the rain.

Eren noticed my actions and I still pretended that I was calm but he caught me. He was looking up at me suspiciously but his eye color melted in the lantern's light and he brought himself closer. Eren was kissing my neck and he kept going up until he stopped in front of my face, he's turned his body around now and our eyes are connected 'Heichou?' He asked, concerned by the look of my expressions. I bite my lip out of frustration, his features were even more crisp and redefined in my eyes and I couldn't stop staring at him. I kiss him unexpectedly and I hold him in a tight embrace, he's mewing and enjoying the sudden change in the mood as I took away all of his unsettling thoughts. A few bites and caresses later I let him go and feel his chest heave on my own, his strong build was so satisfying to grab that I refused to let him go even now, my hands are on his waist and I tease him by placing my cold hands on his bare skin. He jolts at the sensation and gives out a small 'Oi!' In response. Eren then hugs me, keeping his lips close to my ear as he ran his hand on my undercut and then latches onto my hair 'Heichou, I know you're kind of upset about something right now but.. You know that I'm here with you, right?' Eren mumbled in an adorable tone that made me hug him back ' I know you are' I reply as I nuzzle into his shoulder. 'All I want to say.. Is that- everything's going to be okay. So you shouldn't be sad right now, over whatever that's bothering you' he replied confidently before he buried his head in my neck out of embarrassment.

His gesture made me smile, the only thing I could think was _'Maybe Eren, but if only you knew.'_ My heart was clinging onto this boy, what was wrong with me? Have I really gone over my head after all?

Might as well I guess.  


I lifted Eren's head up and bit his collarbone, I sank my teeth into his warmth and began kissing him gently, he shrieked at the sudden contact but he melted away instantly as I continued to arouse him. He started to laugh as I forced myself on him and I couldn't help but smile and seduce him with every breath I took. Out of pure instinct I crack a joke and say 'I'll be the megalodon shark' in his ear and I could see Eren's pure disgust on his face 'Heichou! That's not funny!' He whines as he draws himself away, completely gotten out of the mood. I pull him back and kiss his neck as I unbuttoned his shirt, reflexively I suck and bite on several parts of his chest, he's clearly forgotten about my pathetic joke and I just laugh under my breath, it was fun to manipulate with his moods this way.  


The rain didn't stop for a second that day, and Eren and I never separated from the comfort that had surrounded our vessels.

********************************

‘Eren lets head out, the others might be waiting for us by now’ Armin spoke as he grabbed onto Eren’s arm slightly, he was looking towards the other direction of the hall where the stairs began around the corner, Armin was slightly concerned as to what Eren was thinking but he knew that it was something that would bother him further on if he didn’t finish it right now ‘Okay, you do what you need to right now, I’ll be waiting for you near the stables’ Armin rushed as he walked away with his steady pacing, Eren turned around to stop him but he was already far gone. Eren looked at his boots and gritted his teeth in worry; he couldn’t understand whether he should go back one last time? Or just leave it be for now? He decided on the latter but his feet moved in the other direction. He climbed the stairs quickly and reached outside his door and pushed it in silently. He started to absorb his atmosphere and he inhaled the slightly burnt yet cold smell of his room. The table was slightly worn out towards the corner and on them several books were scattered about. Eren took a few steps forward and started to tidy up before he noticed something inside the pages, a slight cracking sound erupted as he opened one of the books and discovered a red ribbon between the pages, there were several other parts of the book that were marked similarly but with different colored strings. Eren had no recollection of doing this; slightly confused he placed the book back and turned around. He placed his hands on the desk and placed himself on the edge of the table slightly; he closed his eyes again and just paused. Eren wondered if the pages were marked by Levi, he imagined him finding a specific piece of cloth of different colors and how much it must’ve angered him to find the perfect amount and shade, Eren laughs and hums at the thought and for once thanked him again for keeping his mind busy.

That’s all there ever was in his head, _Levi. Levi. Levi._ How the softness of his skin would invade his own, how his quiet eyes and shuttered lips always made him think more, more, more, I want more!. Levi’s fury still remains in his memory, how they fought one another on that god forsaken rooftop in Zhiganshina, after that incident he knew he hated him, and Eren knew that he hated him immensely. But it turned out to be the complete opposite, in a way Eren couldn’t understand between his hatred and his passion, why was it so difficult? Especially now? Eren drew his breath and opened his eyes only to see someone standing in front of him.

‘You really need to stop doing that, the lack of focus will end up getting you killed’ Levi grimaced as he unfolded his arms and drew in closer ‘Why are you still here? We need to head out’.

‘Yeah, sorry I was just- I just forgot something’ Eren pursed his lips and walked towards the window ‘wait, why are you here? Weren’t you supposed to leave before us?’ Eren suddenly remembers as he faces his superior, Levi placed his hand on his waist and started grabbing at his jacket sleeve slowly before he responded.

‘I guess… I forgot something too’ He smirked as he started to look up and see him blush, Eren felt so embarrassed and shy all of a sudden as his emotions overflowed, the rush in his head had made him feel numb and obscenely happy. At this moment they were both drawing towards each other, slow at first but soon they rushed into each other and just… amalgamated. Eren held his waist so close that he could feel his bones poke into his own, he lifted him off the ground and buried his face in his scent, the leather from his jacket blended with Levi’s scent and it created a chaotic cluster of tastes in his mouth, all of Levi tingled on Eren’s lips and he wished it wouldn’t stop. Levi drew away slightly and pressed himself onto Eren, their lips connected as Levi captured Eren’s hand in his own. They smiled and took pleasure in their movements and taste before they stiffened a bit, but they never stopped.

Eren suddenly felt heavy, and the weight on his chest made him choke as Levi continued kissing him and his neck, the sheer thought of losing this feeling caught up to Eren soon enough. He held him in closer, burning every sensation and touch to his memory, he began to remember everything he knew about Levi, like how his heart would beat hysterically when Eren would nuzzle on his chest, how every time Eren complained he’d receive a smack to the head, but in many instances a passionate kiss so that he would shut up somehow, and how he would always ignore Eren’s gaze towards the others and in private he would devour him fully with excitement by his blue irises. All of it felt like a distant dream that he would lose soon, and Eren ached at the sudden realization of it.

‘Oi look at me, come on’ Levi breathed out as he parted from Eren’s lips; he saw that his thoughts were clouded again and he was finding it difficult to fathom the situation. Levi confined his beautifully structured face and held it close, Eren’s eyes were wide now, and grasping onto every word his captain spoke ‘You’ll meet me here once we come back, okay? Just you and me’ Levi spoke softly as their foreheads connected, Eren’s lips were quivering but he kept his composure.

‘Will I? Will I really see you again?’ Eren stammered as he placed his hands on Levi’s, he held onto Eren’s face and he was hesitant of letting him go so soon. ‘I know we will, have a little faith in me okay?’ Levi sighed as he kissed Eren again, swallowing every blubbering noise he made as he melted into his embrace. He wanted to reassure him with better words, but this was the only thing he could come up with. Eren kissed him back with a craze and Levi took him in, every ounce of heart and soul he could unravel in his eyes, he took it all.

A sudden memory flooded Levi’s mind, he thought of the time when Eren read him a beautiful sentence from a book, the sentence seemed blurry now but he remembered the premise of it, the book spoke of how the human soul was free, pure, unique even; and the soul was manipulated and tampered with by its human exterior; and that the death of the body didn’t matter because the soul could never change and it could never be replaced. Eren had compared the soul to the skies, and the earth, and how similar a soul is to a falling star that escaped from its own world and fell onto ours, and how similar we humans are because that’s what we wanted to do too, escape. Levi thought of its stupidity and said that the author was out of his mind, but Eren’s intuition on the theory made him think differently.

 **It made him love him differently.**  
Eren had looked at him with hidden adoration then, the same way he’s looking at him now. They looked at each other and didn’t utter a word, their breathing was steady and synchronized and their eyes conveyed what their hearts couldn’t. Only one idea inundated in their heads as they continued to hold each other, trembling in their warm kisses.

_Survive. Don’t escape now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I hope you enjoyed it so far! I always had this headcannon that Eren and Levi would engage in philosophical ideas and symbolism! and Eren would always read to him from different books, almost EVERY book because he's a curious litlle bub. I think I've gotten a little better with my writing and I hope you love these chapters! I'll be updating the last chapter soon! <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _'God, you're beautiful'_   
>  _'Did you say something Eren?'_   
>  _'Uh- erm. No nothing'_   
>  _'Tell me or else I'll beat the crap out of you'_   
>  _'Oi, why are you blushing?'_   
>  _'...GOD! you're so beautiful'_

_The outcries reverberated in the thickening soil beneath his feet as he stumbled and tried to get back up, his eyes began to sting by the mud and pieces of flesh that crossed his path. The dust compromised his sight, nothing but blurriness existed in his swollen pupils, he couldn't understand where everyone was._

_The sky is clearing now he wondered; he lay down on his back and watched the smoke and the small clouds emerge in the distance, the sky was enamelled with strange tints and color schemes that he couldn't quite compare to any object here._

_Aah, its the color of mars._

_Was I on mars? It feels unreal._

_He lifts himself up from the soggy ground and scratches his elbow and palms somehow, he winces in pain as he got himself up and looks straight towards the plumetting sky, his hands remain steady for the time being, feeling crippled by the fact that he was alone under this foreign sky._

_Until he sees him._

_Those same blood filled eyes looked at him right now, confused by the reality he was facing he remains numb, utterly helpless and strangled._

_It won't matter, I'd reach out again and it won't make a difference, things will remain the same he thought._

_A body without a soul._

_This is what it felt like._

*************************************

'Has he regained consciousness yet?'

Hanji stepped out of the small room as they closed the door behind them, Mikasa is lying on the bed near the medicine cabinet, her swollen feet and face look gloomily towards the others in slow motion. Armin remains still, he repeated his question in his monotonic voice and eyed Hanji for an answer. 'He's stable, some of the shock is still there but hopefully it'll phase out soon enough' Hanji answered, looking down at their glasses and wiped it clean with a small handkerchief 'Some food in his system and he'll be good to go, but let's leave him for today because I don't think he'll be responding quite soon' Hanji spoke sounding a little grave but at the same time sure. Armin breathed a sigh of relief and stood next to Mikasa's bed, he held her bruised hand in his and rubbed his thumb over her rough skin gently, she was smiling underneath all of her wounds he could tell. Sasha and Connie remain on the other side, keeping each other at close proximity with only the beds and curtains keeping them separate, Armin felt at ease to see everyone coping quite well to the current situation.

'How about the Corporal?' Armin realized but a little less sooner. 'I bandaged him up quite a bit, the blood wouldn't stop but thankfully he pulled through' Hanji replied, heaving out a huge sigh in the process 'sometimes I think he's not even human at all, I always wondered if possession was a thing that existed but when I look at him I slowly begin to realize that it might me true' Hanji laughed with a few pauses. Armin smiled at Hanji's reply and looked towards Mikasa again. She's quiet, just like always but now she's sound asleep. 'When we were little, Eren and Mikasa used to protect me from anyone who tried to pick a fight with me, or hurt me in some way. They always came running towards me with wide eyes and anger rising in their throats. I always thought they were possessed during that time, because in reality there was more to them than that fear inducing attribute' Armin gleamed as he held Mikasa's hand tighter, making sure he doesn't ruin the wounds further.

'Maybe we all are, in some way' Hanji added after a few seconds later, Armin watched them leave the room silently as a smile appeared on their face, their glasses bouncing in the process. Armin pushed a bit of his hair behind his ear and untangled a knot in the process, Connie and Sasha snored quietly a few beds down as he stood up and left the room in a muffled manner, he blew out the small candle placed near the door and continued walking through the damp halls.

Possessed, huh?

Maybe so.

**********************************  
They shifted Eren into his room a few days later, he was able to eat and move on his own soon enough after he was stabilized. Eren didn't speak much during that time; his conversations mostly consisted of nods and hums while everyone else spoke either once or twice. Levi didn't get a chance to speak to him privately either because of his own vulnerable state, but he had decided on meeting him tonight before he fell asleep. He wasn't sure if Hanji was giving him a heavy dosage of pain killers but he felt extremely immobilized today, he confronted Hanji when he spoke to them in the morning but Levi only got a wink in response rather than a properly worded sentence. He sighed as he covered his eyes with his arm, his heart was racing in a strange rhythm inside his chest, half of his body was covered in bandages and thankfully the pain had ceased, his body consisted mostly of cuts and bruises now rather than larger open wounds that could've been infected easily. He blinks underneath the skin and feel his eyelashes tickle his arm, he sighs and lets the sleep pour over him.

Night fell quite early as Levi walked through the narrow halls towards Eren's room; his steps were quiet by his slow pacing as he reached out towards the door. He entered in silence and saw Eren once again, the same position he had engraved in his mind for weeks. Eren looked paler, somewhat thinner too as his collar bone poked out of his shirt more than usual, his eyes were tired as he looked at Levi. He flashed a warm smile and then continued to look at the wall in the opposite direction. Levi was slightly disoriented by his silence, usually Eren would be grabbing him by now and it felt strange to greet one another without open arms for once. Levi sat at the edge of the bed; he felt Eren's legs slightly press into him as he turned around and blinked soundlessly. Levi looks at Eren's distracted face and draws in a little closer, Eren happily followed his movements as he looked up with warmth in his eyes.

'Are you feeling some uneasiness? How much would you rate it out of 5?' Levi asks as he makes a gesture to fix his imaginary glasses and wrote something down in his invisible notebook; Eren laughs at his mockery and covers his mouth restlessly. Levi smiles and speaks normally this time 'Have you been feeling better?' Eren's eyes roamed before he sighed and looked at Levi again 'I feel strange Heichou' he found his answer, he drew in a little closer and Levi could feel his stomach press into his back 'when I was out there for a brief moment- just a brief- I felt strangely empty. I started to think about all of the things I'd read about, I thought of other options that could've explained why I was acting that way but in the end I found nothing.'

'And without realizing it I actually began to give up, slowly but gradually. I refused to move and I just lied on the ground while everyone else was getting hurt. I felt my soul drain out of me in a way… And I wanted it to stay'. Eren wore a sad expression as he blinked slowly, he wasn't crying but neither was he fully relaxed. Levi stroked his hair and waited for him to finish 'And I started to think, why does everything have to end? After years and years of creating everything just crumbles and fades in the end, answers seem to stop and questions just keep accumulating, the Titans were there and for what? Their existence makes no sense but they're still here, just like the rest of us. And I was dumbfounded, at a loss. You know?' 

/p> 'I was so alone; I wanted to push my soul back in, scared of the fact that it'll leave me hollow and old. At that moment I thought maybe trapping things isn't a bad thing after all, maybe.. Some things were meant to be kept within you so that they don't get lost in this world. I- I wanted to run away so bad that I forgot about everyone else, and I forgot about how they wished the same things as me. So in a way I'm saying I was inconsiderate, I abandoned you Heichou.. I abandoned all-' 

Eren hid his face in his pillow as his fingers held onto the sheets with a tight grip, Levi never let his own hand leave Eren's hair, his touch became solid and stuck in one place, he didn't feel angry but there was something biting at the back of his throat as he watched Eren open his eyes towards him. He seemed so harmless, and so very comforting to look at, it was as if he was just throwing his usual tantrums and Levi couldn't help but not take him seriously. Levi was silent as Eren watched him with his glassy eyes; he expected a response from him? Really?

'I know you won't say anything, so..' Eren moved quickly as he placed his hand on Levi's waist and pushed him down on the opposite end of the bed, he was taken aback as Eren held his wrists and stopped any movement his body could make, he wanted to punch him, hard. Eren's eyes wandered on the bandages that covered Levi's body, his lowered collar revealed his slightly bruised collar bone, Eren's grip loosened and he casually placed his head on Levi's chest. 'You're warm! You're so _warm_...' He blurted as he kissed Levi's chest through his shirt 'why can't you say these things out loud?' Levi was struck by Eren's behavior, he couldn't understand whether he should run or pull himself closer towards Eren's demented state. He pulled himself away slightly before Eren nuzzled even further; he kept kissing his shirt and poked his sternum every time 'Don't go... Don't leave me like I left you. Please? Please?..'.

Levi felt his eyes swell up in his sockets, he felt so fucking strange, so fucking stupid for not listening to his head when he had the chance. Eren was shaking and clinging onto him so badly, how could he hurt him so many times? Levi bit his lip harshly and shoved Eren off of him, while he was misbalanced he grabbed his shoulder and pushed him down on the bed again, his head slightly hit the bed frame and he held in a hushed scream. Levi was on top of him now as he sat on his stomach cautiously, now Levi had caught his attention.

'Listen to me, alright Eren? I don't need you to apologize for anything you've done so far. Whether you wanted to abandon me or not it doesn't fucking matter alright? The point is you're here right now. Breathing and experiencing everything a man can, what a mortal being can Eren. Everyone thinks differently once their life is at stake, its fucking _common_ , do you understand? You can't be anyone else but yourself in this shit hole! You can't be free, you can't be the stars or the sky or the rain drop that experiences what its like to fly. In the end you can only try, and you have to keep trying until you finally make it...' Levi is speaking calmly now, his hand finds itself on Eren's cheek and he places it gently 'It's hard to be this strong Eren, I know it is. I know you wish and dream for a lot of things but for once I need you to stop looking for a place that's hidden somewhere beyond this crap, I want you to focus on what you can do with yourself now. Do you understand?' Eren looked at me with his earnest gaze as his chest rose and fell, his lips showed no expression and he was breathing slowly from his nose. Levi lifted himself up from his stomach and planted his head on Eren's shoulder, clutching onto his shirt as he did. He swayed above Eren's body but he was only connected to him through the forehead that touched his loose shirt 'You have to realize that you're fucking better than the damn stars, the sky and the ocean and you know what? I don't think you have a soul, you're just full of something even better, you're filled with a thousand lights that scavenge the galaxies and whenever you breathe or just feel you end up glowing and create a chaotic mess inside you. You're not horrible; you're not horrible at all... You're.. I-it’s just that... You need to forgive yourself if you feel something that others feel too, love, hate, and fear, all of it. You feel all of them differently and that's what makes you who you are, so just try... Okay?' Levi mumbled into his skin, making sure that Eren heard it all. Eren slid his hands on Levi's back and pulled him into his trembling embrace; Levi sighed and breathed roughly as he contemplated over how much he had spoken an earful to be exact. Levi pushed himself up and brought his face closer towards Eren's, he was drenched by his own tears and he wore the same amiable expression that Levi adored, without even thinking he forced his lips onto Eren's, he absorbed his heated kisses and salty taste and devoured him, secretly he hoped that a little bit of his light would melt into his own skin somehow.

He sounded insane in his own head.

Eren mumbled his apologies as Levi kept kissing him constantly without stopping to take a breath, in his head he always replied _No need, No need Eren_. Eren's eyelashes bounced on Levi's skin as he kissed his jaw and Adam's apple, caressing him with his lips gently. They stopped mid way and continued to look at each other with a heated stare, Eren drew a small breath and laughed 'I've never heard you talk that much' he beamed, the air around him felt so different now and Levi sighed in relief. He banged his forehead lightly on Eren's and he gave him a heartfelt smile. Eren cooed as he touched Levi and he started to pull his shirt off, Levi humbly obliged and let him get his way for once. Eren looked at his bandages and noticed that the blood stains were satisfyingly less, just as he had hoped. 'You're like a canvas, so much hidden underneath the skin, so much I wish to know… I want to know' he beamed as he stroked his chest, gently caressing his covered nipple. Levi placed his hand under Eren's chin and grazed his index finger along his jaw 'You're full of color Levi... I can't believe I was blind to all of this' Eren spoke cordially as his lips reached his chest, he kissed him so lightly that the sensation left him even before Eren's lips could, he placed small passionate kisses over his bandages and scars and Levi was drowning, slowly and slowly he recovered from Eren's touch and watched him breathe and caress him even more.

Levi looked into his eyes and wondered.

_The lights, they're flickering like crazy right now, you idiot! I can see right through you Eren! Maybe those galaxies can multiply within you too? Isn't it amazing?_

Eren watched him melt into his touch before he kissed him again.

_Levi? How can someone like you be real?_

_With you in my arms I can taste every kaleidoscopic color that can exist on this earth. I can't compare your softness and your colors to anything, absolutely anything at all. You're unreal, you feel so unreal._

They begin to get dizzy by the momentum, their breaths heaving and shaking inside one another.

_A soul full of colors. You're a masterpiece in the making, a still image of a never ending paradise. You're more than the galaxies, the stars and the beat of my heart. You're brilliant, simply brilliant Levi._

_You're blue, the most perfect shade of blue that can never be created. And you've kept it in your eyes, well hidden and protected._

The night sky felt dead and empty as they fell into each others arms as they tired themselves from their ecstasy. Time had stopped as Eren and Levi's fingers tangled in each other, everything else felt unnecessary in their minds, the only thing that mattered to them was that they were waking up to a new tomorrow, where the skies and the sights will be different, and everything will restart. But they themselves would remain intact, buried in each other completely.

They'll try, and they'll keep on trying until they finally become one with the world.

And the sky.

And everything that goes beyond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The possession that I spoke of refers to Armin's dialogue on how people accept the monsters inside of them, and I applied that theory here, in other words 'possession', I hope it kind of makes sense because... I dunno xD I don't know if it turned out as good as I had wanted it to be, but if you've come this far then THANK YOU. I hope you liked it and I promise on getting better! fingers crossed! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, yes. The blue and green colors mentioned in the summary are indeed Levi and Eren's eye colors, but in a way its the color of the skies and the grass too (SYMBOLISM. hehe :p ). I hope you enjoyed this! <3 More chapters coming soon :D


End file.
